Not a lot of us know where to find happiness and because of that, we search for happiness in places we think we’re likely to find it. Here’s something I discovered recently; happiness is a process and not a destination. Your happiness isn’t waiting for you anywhere. It needs to be created and how you create it is easy.
In life, we’re going to face a lot of shit. But if we stress over all of them, we’re likely to lead a frustrated life with a victim mentality. To create space for happiness we need to decide what’s worth stressing over and what’s not. We need to filter the shit we face and find the problems that will have an actual impact on our long-term future. By doing so, we focus only on the real problems that are standing in between us and a peaceful life. All the other tiny weeny problems can go fuck itself. Make no mistake, happiness is not constant, it’s a state of mind and we need to constantly work on different problems to be happy. Happiness comes from solving those problems. When you are faced with the problem of being unhealthy, going to the gym makes you happy. However, building a great body won’t make you happy for long and that’s why it’s important to be happy with the process and not the result. This is because, once we have attained the body we need, the human mind gets bored too soon and pushes us to strive for a better body. The more we get, the more we need.
By falling in love with the process and solving the problems that are important to us we find true happiness. By solving these problems, we face better problems. For instance, after we build a good body, our next goal is to build an even better one. In this case, we do not start from being unhealthy, but rather, we start with having a good body. Therefore, the problem we face here is better than the one we faced before.
Despite it being easy to find happiness, the modern world has a lot of stuff that constantly tries to pull us down. We live in an era of technology. Technology that is both a boon and a curse. Every time we open Facebook or any other social media platform, we are flooded with hundreds of pictures and videos of people having a great time. And then there’s you, stuck at home, browsing through their photos and videos bored and with nothing much to do. This is when you start feeling unhappy, you compare your life with theirs, you start thinking you’re lacking in life and cannot be happy because you’re not them. Firstly, do you really think they’re as happy as they make out to be? Social Media is a lie. Their lives are not as good as they make it out to be, no one’s is. Everyone has their problems, some find happiness by solving them and may seem happier than you’re. But you can find your happiness too, by solving your problems. There is no need to compare your Chapter 1 with their Chapter 23.
Also, the truth is, not all of us are meant for greatness. A vast majority of us are average and will remain average. But being average does not mean being unhappy. Stop chasing perfection because even if you find it, you’ll remain unhappy. Social Media has made us think that if we do not look like supermodels or build rockets at the age of 10 we are losers. That’s not true tho. How many supermodels are there in this world? And how many of them are happy? More than 90% of the world’s population is average and a lot of them are pretty happy. There’s no relationship between your financial status/looks etc etc and happiness. It’s just an illusion created by Social Media where everyone seems to be happy and having a good life. You can find happiness in being average by letting go of the burden of seeking perfection. Just go out there with the attitude ‘Yep, I’m average and I know it, but I am working on myself. I am facing the problems that life throws at me and improving myself with no expectation.’ When you accept yourself for who you truly are and when you stop comparing yourself with others, you start feeling a lot lighter, you start noticing the burden on you reduce and this will go a long way in helping you be happy.
To be happy you need to be comfortable with your failures. You need to be comfortable with your weaknesses because that’s what who you truly are. Name one person in this world who does not have a weakness. Everyone has their weaknesses and accepting them is the best way forward. Hiding from your weakness or running away from your problems may give you a short term high, but on the long term you’ll be forced to face them and that’s why, to be truly happy, it is important to accept your weaknesses and face your problems. That’s the only way you can attain long term sustainable happiness.